Supporting Locked-down Kids & Teens
I can’t count the number of times I’ve looked at my children, aged ten and seven, and wondered what it’s truly like for them to live in the conditions we are experiencing at the moment. Back when I was their age, the threat of nuclear war was the thing me and my school friends used to worry about. Speculation of this alone was terrifying enough to keep me awake at night.
There’s nothing speculative about COVID-19 for kids today. School in my day would only ever be closed for the odd day or so – snow or a teacher’s strike. Masks were for dressing up, not a condition for existing outside the house. For most of the hurdles our kids will get to experience, as parents we’ve had our own childhood blueprints to refer to – a global pandemic is unchartered territory for all of us.
As part of 2021’s Children’s Mental Health Week, the wellbeing experts at CABA outline five common triggers and offer their five tips on how to support a child who is experiencing stress or depression.
5 common stress triggers
- School and homework
Many children feel under pressure to do well at school, and this doesn’t disappear just because lessons now take place virtually. For some, the combination of daytime lessons plus the homework can seem overwhelming, and if a child falls behind this can lead to stress. It can also often mean they don’t have enough free time to play and blow off steam.
- Making friends & peer pressure
Children who don’t make friends easily are likely to feel isolated, add to this the restriction of lockdown and making those connections with new people and those they perhaps wouldn’t normally mix with is even harder. Children can also worry when they argue and fall out with their friends. Many children feel under pressure to fit in, and sometimes this means they do things they may not feel comfortable with or are unsure of.
- Bullying
As a parent, there are certain things you can look out for that may suggest your child is having a problem with bullying. Which now might be easier to spot as they spend more time at home. These signs can often include:
- Becoming withdrawn, nervous and losing confidence
- Performing badly at school
- Not wanting to engage with schoolwork (for instance, pretending to be ill)
- Not eating or sleeping well
If your children are still attending school, look out for signs such as missing property, having unexplained injuries such as bruises or not wanting to attend.
- World events
It’s impossible to keep troubling news about things like war, natural disasters and terrorist attacks from children these days and with headlines dominated by the pandemic, it’s become even harder. As a result, some children may worry about their health and wellbeing as well as that of their parents, family members and friends.
- Family difficulties or changes
From moving to a new house to parents separating, family difficulties and changes to the norm can be tough on a child or teenager and can cause stress.
If you suspect your child is under a lot of stress and pressure and may be suffering, here are some of the things you can do to help…
5 Ways we can help:
- Make time for them
All parents are busy these days, especially in lockdown, but it’s important to spend more time than usual with your children if you think they’re worried about something. Making yourself available for fun activities or just being in the same room as them. Ask them about their day and show an interest in things that are important to them. But try to avoid forcing them to talk about their worries – they’ll open up when they feel comfortable talking about it.
- Encourage healthy sleep
Getting the right amount of sleep and rest can help children become more resilient to stress. Children need different amounts of sleep at different ages – find out how many hours your children need by visiting NHS Choices.
- Feed them healthy food
Good nutrition is also essential if you want to boost your child’s coping skills. Try to make sure they’re eating at least 5 portions of a variety of fruit and vegetables every day. If your children are resistant to eating fruit and veg, there are lots of ways to get them into their diet (these tips by NHS Choices may help).
- Make stress normal
It may be useful to remind your children that some level of stress is perfectly normal in life, and that everyone is affected by it and has to find ways of coping. Explaining that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling could give them the confidence they need to manage their stress levels. If it helps, try talking about times when you’ve been stressed, and explain how you tackled it.
- Keep them active
Physical activity can help children and adults alike manage stress, so make sure your children are getting plenty of exercise or at least getting out for fresh air daily. Other things you could try with them include relaxation techniques and even things like breathing exercises. Try leading by example – if you use these methods to manage your own stress levels, your children are more likely to follow in your footsteps.
Meanwhile, if you think your child may be depressed, don’t try to handle it on your own – make an appointment for them to see their GP. Your child’s doctor can refer them to your local child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) for specialist help. These services can provide access to a team of experts, including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, nurses, support workers, occupational therapists and psychological therapists.
- For more mental and physical wellbeing advice and tips, visit caba.org.uk/help-and-guides or our online site Kooth which provides emotional wellbeing and mental health support for children kooth.com/caba.
