Winning an Argument: How to Use Body Language for Maximum Impact

upset diverse women near wall
upset diverse women near wall

Arguments often stem from both parties wanting to win. However, victory in an argument isn’t just  about the words you use; your body language plays a critical role in how persuasive and confident  you appear. We spoke to global body language expert Carole Railton, best-selling author and body language advisor to CEOs and management teams across the world, for her insight on how to win an argument using the power of body language. Here are Carole’s key body language tips to help you gain the upper hand.

Persuasion 

To influence someone effectively, position yourself to their left side. The left side of the body is the  receiving side, giving you an edge right from the start. Enhance this by maintaining steady eye  contact with their left eye, locking in your gaze for about 80-85% of the time. 

Open Body Language 

Open body language is crucial. Crossing your arms or legs signals defensiveness, which is the last  thing you want in an argument. Keep your arms relaxed by your sides, using subtle gestures to  reinforce your points. Ensure your legs are uncrossed and your feet flat on the floor. This grounded  stance not only stabilises you physically but also boosts your presence. 

Mirroring 

Mirroring creates rapport and makes the other person feel more connected to you. Use it subtly  though, its about small movements done naturally. Be cautious, as people are aware of this tactic  and may try to throw you off by changing their movements. When done correctly, mirroring will  show you’re in sync. 

Posture 

Posture is a reflection of confidence. Notice how some individuals slouch – a sure signal of  insecurity. In contrast, you want to stand or sit tall. Keep your chest open, shoulders back, and your  head high whilst both feet are on the ground. This stance radiates confidence in both your body  and your argument. 

Carole Railton smiling

Confidence 

Avoid fidgeting, tapping, or touching your face as these actions reveal nervousness. Slow down  your movements, projecting control and self-assurance. CEOs don’t rush, they move with calm  purpose and authority. You should too. Purposeful, deliberate movements will demonstrate your  confidence and help you maintain control. 

Breath 

Breath is our very life source and reveals our emotional state. How we use our breath is an  indicator of the situation we are in at any given moment. We use shallow breathing when we are  stressed, fast breathing when we are angry. To project calmness and authority in an argument,  focus on slow deep breaths. This ensures you have a breath pattern that works. 

Reflecting 

Using facial expressions gains you ground in an argument. Facial expressions matter. A slight nod,  a raised eyebrow, or a gentle smile shows you’re listening and considering their point of view.  People are more likely to be receptive when they feel heard. Show empathy, assertiveness, and  you’ll gain ground in the argument.

Pause 

You have slowed down your breathing and your speech, and now its time to take your time to think  before responding. Silence can be your strongest ally. A deliberate pause after a question or point  allows you to compose yourself and ensures you’re providing a thoughtful, measured response  and are in control, a signal to the other person of your composure. 

Cloak 

If you are still struggling, a simple trick is to imagine you have a heavy weighted cloak on. To keep  it in place, you must stand tall. This simple trick will help pull your shoulders back and boost your  confidence. I used this technique before stepping on stage, and it can work wonders for you, too. 

Keep Calm 

If your opponent raises their voice or becomes aggressive, stay calm. By maintaining rational,  emotionally mature behaviour, you’ll gain the upper hand. Don’t fall into their trap by raising your  voice. Keep the conversation grounded and composed, and express logic and reason to steer the  argument toward your favour. 

Mastering body language, coupled with rational arguments and clear communication,  significantly increases your chances of winning an argument. Stay composed, project  confidence, and use these techniques to gain advantage. You’ll be prepared to succeed. Good luck!

  • Belinda Wanis, aka Miss B, is a Belle About Town who likes to bring a little bit of style into every aspect of her life. An experienced journalist with over 20 years in the industry she turned to the web, creating Belle About Town in early 2010, to fill a gap for tech-savvy stylish women who want the best life has to offer at their fingertips.

    She loves a decadent cocktail bar, a beautifully cut dress, cultural getaways, quality over quantity and is partial to Asian-fusion food.

    A globetrotter, who has lived in Australia, the UK and Denmark, she enjoys holidaying in the sun and you can often find her on a beach in Thailand or on shopping breaks in Sydney or New York. But her first love is, of course, London!
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