How To Build Healthy Relationships With Friends & Colleagues
While lockdown undoubtedly hit hard, many of us spotted silver linings – some loved their zero commute, others discovered a love for baking sourdough/banana bread/basically anything they could create using limited stock. Some even got around to that novel that’s been waiting patiently for an opportunity to make its way from imagination to page.
We also found out things about ourselves – for example, not everyone is suited to owning a dog, and some people’s tolerance for rewatching episodes of Friends knows no limits. We also missed people, but not necessarily everyone. While human contact is essential, certain relationships can drain and exhaust, and if you found yourself a little happier during your forced separation from those types, perhaps it’s worth examining that and doing something about it.
Our happiness levels are affected by whether our relationships are positive and uplifting or toxic and depressing. So says Anne Jones, author of ‘Healing Negative Energies’ and lyricist of ‘Artaban the Musical’, which debuted in the West End in 2021 and will be launched as a film late this year.
She says: “At least fifty percent of my work as a spiritual healer is to help people improve the vibrations of their closest connections: partner, family, in-laws, friends, and work colleagues.
“The people who are closest to you, who spend the most time with you, are connected to you by energy cords. Your thoughts are energy streams and constant thoughts create links to the people you spend time with. If your relationship is positive, then the cord that connects you will be vibrant and strong with affection flowing constantly (apart from the odd fall out).
“However, if a friend, family member or colleague is too demanding, needy or overwhelming they will be stealing your energy and the cord between you will be heavy and toxic.”
Here are Anne’s thoughts on who and what to avoid if we want to achieve healthy and happy relationships with our peers…
Hooks
If a relationship is out of balance and the other person clings to you with hooks and takes a ride on your vibrancy and enthusiasm for life, they will drain your energy. You will be exhausted after spending time with them.
Negative thinking and depressed
If you spend time with a pessimistic, depressed, or miserable person you can be affected by their heavy energy and their negative thought forms of worry, concern and depression will bring down the vibration of your own energy.
Controller
If someone close tries to manipulate or control you by bullying or making you feel guilty then you will lose your self-esteem, lose your confidence, believe what they tell you and become programmed by their sense of superiority or their demands.
Angry or emotional
A person who allows their emotions to boil over easily will make you feel insecure. When you are the target of someone’s irrational and emotive venting, you will become weaker in yourself, unable to make decisions, vulnerable and low spirited.
What can you do?
The connections between you and other people are energy streams created by your thoughts. If you want to change the status of your relationship you need to start with an intention to transform the energy that flows between you. Forgiving and opening a positive dialogue can help and you can shift the energy between you by channelling positive vibrations into the link, the cord, that flows between you.
Here are several ways you can manage the health and positivity of your relationships at home and work.
Clearing the toxic energies
The cords that connect you to people you know well are created by your thoughts and the energy vibrations are affected by the emotions attached to those thoughts. Here are simple steps that can help clear the toxic energy.
- Write the name of the person involved on a piece of paper
- Hold the intention to clear the air between you – to let bygones be bygones and to forgive (if the person controls or dominates you, your intention is to set yourself free)
- Cut a length of thread to represent the cord that connects you
- Release the negative energy in the cord by saying: “I send love and forgiveness to clear the cord between [name] and myself. I set myself free, now right now, right now.” And break the cord or cut with scissors
Prevent your energy from being zapped
Protection is the best option when dealing with the negative fall-out of other people’s issues. By protecting and sealing your energy field you can prevent yourself from being overwhelmed by another person’s negativity. Imagine a fortress that is a barrier to heavy and negative energies that can invade and contaminate your own energy.
Try visualising a castle. Visualise it having extremely thick walls and say: “My energy is sealed and protected now, right now, right now, only positive energy and love can enter.”
Other protective measures include pulling down a garage door when someone starts to vent their anger or frustration at you – ideal if you work with the public. Another is to visualise a large egg with thick walls that repel negative thoughts – they bounce off the outside layer. Any of these rituals will put you back in control and prevent other people’s emotions from disturbing or stealing your life force and vitality.
