Identifying Impostor Syndrome in Women

Ever since Michelle Obama’s frank admission of suffering Impostor Syndrome for much of her adult life, the subject has been a hot topic, with many high profile names admitting similar thoughts.

But what is Impostor Syndrome (IS), and how do you know if you suffer it? There are a number of red flags that might indicate you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome; none of these on their own should be cause for concern, but several of them in a cluster should make you stop and think. Belle About Town spoke to Dr Sandi Mann, a psychologist, University Lecturer and Director of The MindTraining Clinic in Manchester where much of her material for her new book on identifying IS is derived. She is author of over 20 psychology books, and here’s what she told us:

• Discounting praise: It is a curious paradox that the Imposter desperately seeks approval and praise to validate their skills and talents, but when they get it, they struggle with the dissonance that this creates – between being told they are good with the deep seated belief that they are no good at all. In order to reduce this uncomfortable dissonance you have to change one of these two cognitions by either agreeing that you are good (and deserving of praise) or by discounting the praise (‘they are just saying that’, ‘they don’t mean it’, ‘he knows nothing anyway’). It is easier to discount the praise than to change a self-belief that might have been years in the making.
  
• Attributing success to luck: Imposters typically attribute their successes to luck and their failures to their own abilities. By doing this they manage to preserve their Imposterish self-beliefs.
  
• Believing everyone else is better than you: this is a key sign of imposterism; not only are you a fake, but you are the only fake. Everyone else is far cleverer, more competent, skilled etc than you.
  
• Undermining achievements: Imposters usually work exceptionally hard to achieve in order to prove to themselves that they are good enough. But then, they are left feeling dissonant again – their achievements are at odds with their firmly held belief that they are not that good really. The only way to feel better is to change one of these beliefs – and it is easier to change the belief about the achievement (by discounting it as ‘nothing special’ – something that anyone can do) than the long-standing belief that you are no good.
  

Below are some strategies that everyone can adopt if suffering from feelings of self doubt and imposterism.

Acknowledge The Facts

Whatever your attitude is to your success, certain facts are undisputable. For example, if you obtained a great exam result, or a job offer, those are the facts. Anything else is merely what you think about the facts. Look back at your life so far and draw up a list of your successes, such as a good exam result or a promotion, under a heading of ‘The Facts’.

Keeping a record of these undisputable facts about your successes can help ground you and help you to realise that, whatever your thoughts, the successes are there, in black and white. One or two successes might be attributable to luck or external facts, but once you accumulate a longer list, it is harder to ignore the evidence in front of your eyes – that maybe, just maybe, you are actually good at what you do after all.

Identify your strengths

People who suffer from IS tend to focus on their weaknesses and ignore any strengths. Learning to acknowledge what you are good at is an essential part of the process of winning against IS. For this reason, ‘affirming lists’ can be very useful. Using the following suggestions, make your own affirming lists.

Write down:

·       Ten of your strengths – for example, persistence, courage, friendliness, creativity

·       At least five things you admire about yourself – for example, your good relationship with your brother, the way you’ve raised your children or your spirituality

·       The five greatest achievements in your life so far – for example, recovering from a serious illness, graduating from high school, learning to use a computer

·       At least 20 accomplishments – these can be as simple as learning to use a new app on your phone, or as challenging as getting an advanced college degree

·       10 things you could do to help someone else

Keep these lists somewhere prominent and easily accessible; the next time you feel those imposter symptoms creep in, get the lists out and remind yourself that you really are as good as other people think you are!

Why Do I feel Like An Imposter by Dr Sandi Mann is available now, priced £12.99.