Beating the Fight or Flight: How to Unlock Your Brain and Avoid Freezing

Fight or Flight: How to unlock your brain and deal with freezing in stressful situations

The human stress response is amazing. A reflex that protects us from danger and has kept us safer as a species from the time when we were potential sabre tooth tiger lunch, it’s as necessary today.

If we step out in front of a speeding car, we leap out of the way without thinking about it. Also known as Fight or Flight, our brain enables us to run as fast as we can or physically defend ourselves. Our perceptions of threat however have now evolved and the constant emails and messages, and tight schedules toggling between work and home, mean our lives are too full on and our stress response is constantly triggered.

Belle About Town spoke to Andy Barker, Director and Trainer at Mind Fitness and a Cognitive Behavioural Coach and trainer. Andy’s latest book – Unlock You – written with business partner Beth Wood, deals with the Fight or Flight instinct and explains why constant stress responses aren’t good for us. Here’s what Andy told us about dealing with stress, unlocking our brain, and avoiding freezing in stressful situations…

Andy and business partner Beth co-wrote Unlock You – available now from Amazon

“Being busy itself is not the issue. That can give us a buzz and is the positive stress that motivates and drives us. It’s the perception of not coping or not being good enough that creates the feeling of burdensome chronic stress that can be harmful. Stress can derive from the unhelpful beliefs that we hold about ourselves, others and the world around us. The demands we place on ourselves. We must work harder to prove our worth. We need to be the perfect parent. A rigid and self-limiting mindset can lead to what we call noise. The self-created scenarios played out in our minds, predicting disastrous outcomes and unhappy endings. Scientists estimate that we have between 20,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day. A very small number are ever about the task at hand and many more tend to be of a negative nature. The brain cannot differentiate between real or imagined threat, so we unwittingly overthink ourselves into a negative  corner and our stress response is triggered. This can become habitual, allowing our Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANT’s) to lead us into a spiral of self-sabotage. 

“How can we reduce this tendency to think ourselves to stressfulness? In the longer term, learning to identify and reframe our often long held unhelpful rigid, demand based beliefs will help. But a quicker way to tackle the ANT’s and regain control is to practice mindfulness. This is about being in the moment. The here and now. When we’re mentally predicting an unknown future or punishing ourselves about past mistakes, we’re not in the moment. Once we are focusing on the now, our brain is momentarily unable to create the noise.

“Try this very quick mindfulness exercise that calms the mind and reduces heart rate. It’s a mnemonic called NOW. You can do this anywhere and at virtually any time. Pick an object and Notice it. Then, really Observe it. What’s it made of? Notice the flaws. The details. Really Wonder. The intricacies. How was it made? Focus on it and marvel at it. You’re now in the moment. A few seconds can be all it takes to calm you. NOW is great before a job interview or giving a presentation. It buys time and allows you to mentally regroup. 

Unlock You by Andy Barker and Beth Wood is out now, published by Pearson, priced £12.99.
Unlock You explores mindfulness and CBT methods to deal with stress

“Here’s another great way to reduce the ANT’s. Try a mindful walk. When you’re walking to the bus stop, instead of letting your mind wander, really focus on the journey. Be aware of your breathing. Listen to your footsteps. Are there other sounds? Traffic? Trees rustling? Dogs barking? Be aware of the feel of the surface that you’re walking on. Is it very hard pavement or softer grass? Notice the buildings around you. Their shapes. The colours. Pick out the details. If thoughts come into your mind, then that’s fine. Acknowledge them, let them go and refocus on the senses.

“If your daily commute involves a walk, then it’s an opportunity to practice every day. The more you do this, the easier you’ll find staying in the moment. It’s a great way to prepare for a busy day ahead or unwind at the end of a demanding day.

“The good news is that we can take control of our ANT’s. There are many scientifically validated methods to calm our minds, reduce the feelings of negative stress that allow us to get out of our own way. The simple exercises we’ve looked at are just the start. With a little practice you can unlock so much potential and become calmer and happier in the process.”

  • Emily Cleary

    After almost a decade chasing ambulances, and celebrities, for Fleet Street's finest, Emily has taken it down a gear and settled for a (slightly!) slower pace of life in the suburbs. With a love of cheese and fine wine, Emily is more likely to be found chasing her toddlers round Kew Gardens than sipping champagne at a showbiz launch nowadays, or grabbing an hour out of her hectic freelancer's life to chill out in a spa while hubby holds the babies. If only!

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