UK parents fear dealing with toddler tantrums in public

Dealing with explosive toddler tantrums in public is biggest fear for most UK parents, who feel ‘judged’ when it happens, according to the latest research. 

The child development survey commissioned by preschool activity class provider Toddler Sense questioned more than a thousand UK parents on their anxieties around toddler development and found that dealing with tantrums in public was the top concern for 73% of parents. 

A further 17% also said they felt ashamed and embarrassed by their toddler’s aggressive behaviour, which often involved biting or hitting other children. 

But some experts believe that numerous pressures placed on parents and unrealistic expectations from multiple sources including social media, celebrities, reality TV and advertising aren’t helping matters.

Dr Lin Day, child development expert and founder of Toddler Sense said: “Parents with toddlers face multiple pressures on a daily basis from providing new experiences and regular outings to engaging in new activities, while giving 100% of their attention 24/7. To make matters worse, if a young child has an emotional outburst in public, onlookers are often quick to condemn and judge the behaviour. So it’s hardly surprising that parents suffer from anxiety and stress, judge themselves too harshly, lose confidence in their abilities, and feel unappreciated and undermined. The truth is, parenting is the most difficult job in the world and parents need to be congratulated for doing it so well”.

The survey results also revealed that ‘saying first words’ was the second biggest worry for parents with toddlers. In fact, 26% also admitted their worries around speech development were heightened by comparisons of other parents whose children had supposedly spoken sooner.  

Child mobility was also a big anxiety for parents with 57% saying they felt under pressure from family and friends for their toddler to take their first steps. 

A further 15% said they believed their child learned to walked quite late but said they faced a barrage of comments from other people about their child’s ‘delayed development’, which added to their worries.

Dr Day continued: “Parents are bombarded with unrealistic expectations from multiple sources including family, friends and social media, to get their child to walk or talk before they’re developmentally ready, which can lead to deep feelings of failure for people who are genuinely good parents. Our research shows that walking, talking and dealing with tantrums are some of the biggest pressures and barriers to parental wellbeing today.

“Although it is natural for parents to want their child to walk and talk early, and to demonstrate positive behaviours outside the home, research from the Northern Illinois University’s Department of Education also shows that if the pressure is too strong, the child may suffer from low self-esteem and emotional instability, which can affect the ability to learn and grow.”