Finding Your Voice – How To Speak With Confidence

Ever feel like you just can’t express your brilliant thoughts in front of colleagues? That you don’t always do yourself justice in work situations, even though you’ve got loads to say? It’s enough to make you seethe, especially if you feel cut out of key conversations because you’re just not speaking up when under pressure.

Whether it’s public speaking, being heard in the boardroom, or at a meeting, if this is an issue you struggle with you’re certainly not alone. This may be an important year for women speaking up but somehow many struggle to do so. Research by Rada In Business has found that women are 68% more likely than men to say they never feel comfortable when expressing themselves in a work environment. From one-to-ones to board meetings and from junior staffers to CEOs, many women find voicing their opinion a major challenge.

Leadership communications coach Antoinette Dale Henderson, author of Leading with Gravitas: Unlock The Six Keys To Impact And Influence (Rethink Press), is on a mission to help women overcome it. Here she reveals her tips for preparing yourself both physically and mentally so you do yourself justice in even the most challenging work situations.

“Remind yourself that you have a right to be in the room and your expertise is valued. If you have a point to make tell yourself that the people hearing it will benefit from doing so. Never apologise for making a point, nor for needing more information to get the full picture of the subject under discussion. You need evidence as well as conviction in order to be of help”.

“Prior to a meeting use the OPRAHS method to help get yourself in the right mind. The OPRAHS acronym stands for “What’s my Objective? What’s my Purpose? What’s my Role? What’s my Attitude? What do I want to Hear and then what do I want to Say? In the minutes before a meeting, or even in the corridor on your way there, asking yourself these questions and giving yourself clarity on the answers is a highly effective way to ensure you express yourself fluently”.

“The way you position your body is directly linked to your ability to radiate a strong and confident presence. Adopt a powerful posture – think Wonder Woman and plant your feet firmly on the ground directly under your hips, shoulders back and making direct eye contact. If you’re in a chair sit up, positioning your backside squarely in your chair and leaning forward slightly. This will keep you energised, ‘in the room’ and attract attention to you. Keep your posture open and relaxed throughout”.

“Breathe in a free, deep and steady way, and revert to this whenever you start the shallow-breathing that comes in stressful situations. This will not only help you exude calm, but will also enable you to control your voice. If yours gets higher pitched and shrill in stressful situations, try to lower it at the end of each point. This will make you come across assertively.

“If you’re speaking up in a meeting, use short pauses between statements, but not long enough for someone to butt in. Keep it brief and concise, conquer your verbal tics (the ‘ums’ and ‘ers’) and avoid going into unnecessary preamble and justifications. And don’t forget, just because faces aren’t showing assent, it doesn’t mean everyone thinks you’re talking rubbish. Stay focused on your message”.

“Find opportunities to speak first or early in a discussion. This conveys confidence, draws attention and asserts your presence while preventing you from sitting there getting anxious about speaking up and over-thinking what you’re about to say”.

“Take a cue from actors and sports stars and create a ritual that has an association with feeling capable and in control, to help you recapture that confidence when in a demanding situation. Using a virtual library of highlights from your career, the ritual will remind you to visualise and ‘replay’ these highlights, like the time you led a successful project or won an award. Focusing on you at your most successful helps you to project confidence”.

• To find out more about Antoinette and gravitas go to gravitasprogramme.com.