It can be hard to be everything to everyone all of the time. As well as putting unrealistic pressure on ourselves, we are also not doing future generations any favours by pretending that we can have it all. Here serial entrepreneur and female empowerment ambassador Jane Kenyon explains why it is time to let go of the idea of being a superwoman
Can you spot the Superwoman in your friendship group? I wonder……
She is the perfectly groomed one, planning her life with military precision in an attempt to control the whole show. She will be an eternal people pleaser happy to prioritise everyone else’s needs before her own for fear of not being loved or admired, she will be multi-tasking to emotional exhaustion on a daily basis and any spare moment she gets will be spent moaning at her lack of work/life balance, the length of her to do list and/or her unsupportive partner/family/boss or kids!
Have you identified her yet? Is it you?
She may not be wearing a cape but she definitely believes she is invincible and this is the only way to manage her life. The thought of letting go, asking for help, appearing vulnerable or showing any emotion is scary and her standards are so high even she fails to hit them ALL the time!
You see the sad fact is that Superwoman believes that control gives her power when in fact the opposite is true. Controlling everything does not give you power, it gives you a blinding headache and leads to emotional meltdown. This model of behaviour is simply NOT sustainable.
Perfectionism, regardless of what the beauty industry would have you believe is an illusion. We cannot and should not want to look 21 forever and being on a permanent diet, detox or cleanse is not sending great messages to our daughters who are already struggling to navigate a complex landscape littered with reality TV, early sexualisation, social media, depression, self harming, eating disorders, confused sexual identities and the rest.
Our need to be perfect is sabotaging our self belief, our identity and our relationships and our right to an imperfect life! And in the event of a mistake or a temporary fall from our self made pedestal the self flagellation is not pleasant to watch
Superwoman is old school. She is fake and she has to go! Invincible is out and authenticity is in!
Real power comes from authenticity. Real power comes from knowing who you are, being real and owning your unique look and take on the world.
Real people make mistakes, show their vulnerability, ask for help, let go of the constant need for approval, dump the people pleaser and please themselves first! They are comfortable in their own skin, own their voice and definitely rock their world. They know they are already enough and they shine.
This also makes them awesome role models for the next generation. A generation that is growing up in a society that sells them an empowerment model based on appearance and how ‘hot’ they are.
Ladies, it is time to connect the dots. If we buy into the Barbie doll beauty ideal; if we fuel the £2billion dollar cosmetic surgery industry; if we believe our core value is in our appearance; if we believe we are not worthy of love unless we do everything for everyone else all the time; if we are silent about sexism and we do not believe we are worthy of greatness unless we become a task focussed, testosterone fuelled control freak, then how do we expect our daughters to behave any differently?
They may not be listening to what we say but you better believe they are watching what we do.
Kick Superwoman to the kerb and reclaim your unique, powerful feminine soul today.
To read more about Superwoman and Jane’s views on women and teen girls pick up her latest book Diva Wisdom – Find Your Voice, Rock Your World, Pass It On!