January and a new year can sometimes highlight the fact that you are stuck in a bit of a rut. Well prepare to change all that and break the mould in 2015.
Samina Ali is a British born Pakistani who delivers cross-culture psychological related talks. She herself has grown up between two cultures, having a Pakistani background and growing up in a British culture. Her book Pearls Within teaches you how to overcome past inhibitions and explore the reasons behind your mentality whilst providing you with a toolbox to help you through the journey. Here Samina shows us how to change behaviours and break patterns that are holding us back.
Have you ever wondered where your behaviour comes from? Most of the time you feel this is just you and how you are designed. Some of that is true, especially parts of your personality and character. But surely all your behavior cannot be genetically inherited. Have a look at this formula; the way we feel is subconsciously displayed in our behavior and subsequently the way we behave is what is portrayed to the world and what is portrayed to the world will generate what you receive from the world.
So if the problem is that you are not happy with what you are receiving from the world then the formula above can help you navigate where the root of the problem potentially could be. Changing your portrayal requires you to change your behavior because ultimately that’s where the portrayal is developed from.
Behavior is a very strange matter, but a very interesting one too; especially when you begin to explore where your behavioral traits have taken their roots from. Some of your behavior patterns are learnt from significant adults around you that you subconsciously picked up in your early years. Other patterns could be strategies you used at a time of difficulty or insecurity and the strategy worked at that time for you therefore your mind uses it again and again in similar situations. Some behavior can have secondary gains where it was used once upon a time and it generated a particular response which you enjoyed and therefore you prefer to use that particular pattern to keep generating that enjoyed response. Through these patterns of behaviors we exhibit, sometimes it’s hard to tell which is really you and which is not? The answer frankly is that it doesn’t really matter…. if you feel stuck, then a change is needed and the change can only come from you changing the formula.
Look at your behaviour patterns and see which patterns are being displayed and what they are generating and whether there is benefit in your life or not. Try to identify the origins of these patterns and see if these patterns were established at time in your life when they worked but is that time now extinct? – If so then these behaviors need modifying. We live in a modern world where it is second nature to upgrade and modify constantly to make our lives easier; so why can’t we do that with areas of our life which are real, which we are living and breathing, not just with our technology.
Put out to the world what you want to receive. If you are putting out to the world that you want sympathy then that is what the world will give you; if you are portraying a person who lacks confidence then that is the way people will respond to you accordingly knowing that you are not a very confident person. On the other hand if you are putting out love to the world then that is what you will receive because as human beings we react to others; if you are putting out a confident you then the people will respond to you with the understanding that this is a confident person. The key lies in the formula, make a change today for a better tomorrow.