Life coaches Nik and Eva Speakman are the UK’s foremost schema conditioning psychotherapists. The husband and wife team met in their 20s when they both worked in finance and despite both having difficult upbringings, they both discovered that they had the same goal – to make other people happy. Here they explain how schema conditioning can help you to overcome difficulties in your life and how identifying your past successes can help with your future.
So just what is schema conditioning?
A schema is a medical term for a cognitive thought process. In brief a schema is what dictates your thoughts, beliefs, behaviours and actions. Schema Conditioning Psychotherapy is a form of therapy we created which approaches a patients issues by reconditioning a negative schema, by offering overwhelming, contrary evidence to their destructive behavioural schema.
How can it help people to have happier lives?
By offering overwhelming contrary evidence to alter a negative schema, and replacing it with a more positive thought process, this conditions a new behaviour, and therefore the symptoms of stress, anxiety, negativity etc will disappear.
How do your techniques differ from other forms of therapy?
Other forms of therapy do not achieve consistent results, and when results are obtained they are certainly not achieved with the speed of Schema Conditioning Psychotherapy.
Do you think that people are either optimists or pessimists?
We believe that people are a product of their environment and therefore how they are depends upon the environment they have been raised in or currently live in. Surrounding yourself with positive people and a positive environment, creates positive thoughts.
Why is it so important to have a positive attitude?
Consider those days when you wake up and feel great, and no matter what happens during the course of the day it just bounces of you, conversely some days everything is a toil. Your attitude at the start of the day can make the difference for the day ahead. So, given the fact you have the choice, who wouldn’t choose positive.
What’s the best way to stay for people to stay motivated?
Make goals, and give yourself daily tasks so you have a clear focus and then consequently a clear list of your daily achievements. Make a success or wow list detailing all your achievements, great experiences that you have attained, and read your list it daily. We very easily forget how far we have come in life and often spend time dwelling on perceived failures instead of our successes.
Many women are plagued with insecurities, how can they reduce these and build their confidence?
Ask themselves why do they feel that way? What is it exactly that makes them feel insecure? Make a list detailing as many points as required and then challenge each point by asking: ‘Why do I believe this?’ ‘Who told me?’ ‘Compared to who?’ ‘Compared to what?’ ‘If I didn’t believe this about myself, what else could I believe which would be far better?’ Think of someone who, loves you conditionally, and list why they love you? This will help you to realise how amazing you are. Finally ask yourself, ‘if my best friend told me the this, what advice would I give her?’
What celebrities have you helped out?
We work with numerous celebrities, most we cannot name due to our strict confidentiality agreement, however celebrities that we have worked within the media and on TV include Holly Willoughby, Linda Robson, Kym Marsh, Liz McLarnon, Kerry Katona, Katie Price and Peter Andre.
Where can people find out more about schema conditioning?
There is more information on our website www.speakman.tv where we will also be releasing exclusive footage of filmed therapy sessions showcasing the amazing results we have achieved with our schema conditioning psychotherapy.
The Speakmans tips on how you can improve your life:
1. Surround yourself with positive people.
2. Set goals and make a plan of what you want to achieve in the future.
3. Motivate yourself by creating a wow list of your successes so far.
4. Use people you admire as role models for your future.
5. Set aside regular time for pampering as a reward for success.
6. Happiness is learned and therefore one of your goals can be to study happiness.
[picture credits: The Speakmans; Melissa Segal]